We all know that a family can come in many different forms. There is no true singular definition for what “family” means, and as our world is changing and embracing differences, it’s great to read stories of modern families. In a recent interview with CNN, Dan Bucatinsky, the 47-year old actor, producer and author, who most recently won an Emmy for a guest role on ABC’s “Scandal,” the actor opens up about finding his “inner mommy” when it comes to raising his two young children.

Bucatinsky, who plays a gay dad on TV, is also a gay dad in real life. Together with his husband, Don Roos, the pair are fathers to Eliza and Jonah. Within the interview, Bucatinsky opens up about how the definition of “family” is evolving. He also wrote a book on the road to becoming a family in his memoir, “Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?: Confessions of a Gay Dad.”

CNN is even reaching out to same-sex parents in hopes to highlight creative ways in which they address their parenting roles. A portion of the interview is below. For the full interview, click here.

CNN: When you were growing up and coming to terms with being gay, did it ever cross your mind that you might someday be a father?

Dan Bucatinsky: It wasn’t something that I dared to aspire to. I lived a lot of years in denial. I spent a lot of my teen years promising myself that if it turned out to be true, that I would kill myself. I’m really glad that I didn’t fulfill that promise.

Even early in my 20s when I came out of the closet, I wasn’t really thinking about marriage. I focused on my career, and I didn’t have a clear picture of my future as being in a relationship, having kids and having a domestic life. By 27, I was settling down, and it became clearer to me that it was something I was subconsciously craving.

I was so envious of the gay men I’d meet who wore wedding rings. I remember feeling some kind of pang in my mid-to-late 20s. Maybe it was too painful to really picture. I felt like it wasn’t in my cards. I met Don when I was 27, and we didn’t have kids until I was 40. For 12 years we talked about it, but not seriously, until the last five years. I didn’t believe it was possible, so now, when I think about it, it’s just surreal.

CNN: When you talk to young, gay men about parenthood now, do their expectations differ from that?

Bucatinsky: It’s amazing how different it is now to talk to someone who is exactly my age when I met Don — a 27-year-old out, gay man (who has probably been out since he was 15). It’s a foregone conclusion that if they want it, marriage and kids could be in their future. Parents used to say, “I love you just the same that you’re gay, but it’s such a sad, lonely life,” but that can’t be said anymore.

CNN: When parenthood was finally happening for you and your husband, did you worry about not having a blueprint for it?

Bucatinsky: While we were expecting Eliza, I was in such shock and denial that it was really happening. It didn’t occur to me what would happen when we took that baby home. I didn’t really think it through. Nor did my spouse and I have long enough discussions about our parenting styles. We have subsequently discovered our differences, which hopefully leads to a little yin and yang with the kids.

There were parents that to me were just the ideal. Many of them were straight moms who have just been great, supporting, warm, funny and tough, at least in my perception of them. I’m sure they all had their own bouts of self-doubt. They became my role models, and I hoped I could be as good as them; their kids turned out so great.

CNN: Is motherhood necessarily tied to femininity?

Dan Bucatinsky: It’s not. What I discovered inside me that I didn’t realize was there, was mommyness. But by definition of the fact that I’m not a mommy, if I’m finding qualities that I’m describing as “mommyness” then why do I have to attach a gender to them? Why can’t we move to a time where “parent” is an umbrella term that encapsulates a lot of things: discipline, nurturing, sustenance, support and boundaries?

When you’re a gay dad, you get the question, “Which one of you is the mom?” I used to get offended by it, but now I just answer: I am. If you’re asking me in the way that I’m using the term “mom” loosely, then yes, I have fallen into those more mommyish kinds of roles. Don has fallen more into the daddyish roles, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t do bath time. But straight parents, too, any modern dad now is doing the same kinds of things. It doesn’t really have to do with gay or straight anymore.

Some parents at times feel lost and helpless when trying to come up with the right decisions when parenting at home. At times, it’s due to their own fears and inhibitions. When this occurs, it’s typical for children to take advantage of the situation and a role-reversal tends to take place. A new book, Who Runs Your House: The Kids or You?, helps put a stop to this and teaches parents the importance of taking control over the household and how to properly keep their children on the right path.

We all know or have seen parents that are controlled by their children. It’s easy to judge, but what guarantees you that your parenting style will afford you a different relationship with your children? Everyone is different and each child is unique, but studying up and taking tips from different sources can help lead parents or soon to be parents in the right direction.

More on the book here and below:

“Our children are beautiful active little people and we sometimes experience diffi culties when their stubbornness or their behaviour leaves us confused. When our children will not listen to us, they behave in a manner we feel is not appropriate or they may act out with anger or tantrums at the worst possible times, what are we suppose to do?” -Karen Phillip
• Are you experiencing regular tantrums from your child?
• Do you argue about behaviours?
• Do you feel your child does not listen to you?
• Is there a problem with your child going to bed or staying in bed?

Parents can easily learn to get their power back, to run their house the way they believe is right for them and their children.

This book can be used as a simple guide to assist you to make the right rules and boundaries for your children and have them followed. It will help you to guide your children toward better behaviours without too much confl ict. By using these suggestions you can communicate better with both your partner and children to achieve the outcome you require.

You run the house, not the children. Get back your control and power easily with little effort both within the home and when out. Follow these suggestions for a happier, life that will be more fulfi lling, enjoyable, and fun.

We came across an article all about the importance of how a male figure interacts and plays with children, courtesy of a Disney owned site, Babble.com. The article is tailored towards father’s but since every family is different, we wanted to just put this out there for anyone to read and appreciate. Disney normally wouldn’t be the first place we would turn to for parenting tips or advice, but since there was a referenced study from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, we gave it a second read and found some fun points. When we post these “tips” or articles about parenting, our hope is not to convince you, teach you or tell you that this is the only way, but instead we hope to inform you, and hopefully inspire you in some way, shape or form. Most people reading our blogs are not parents yet, so these articles are truly meant to help paint a longterm perspective of what parenthood is all about. Read more about how male role figures interact differently with children below.

As fathers, we are built with unique gifts to offer our kids and, believe it or not, how we play with our children is one of them. Studies have shown that fathers play with their kids in ways different than their mothers, and the way fathers play can offer children lessons on behavior and important social skills. Rough-housing with the kids, a dad specialty, is not only good for giggles and laughs, but it gives kids an understanding of boundaries and self-control. They learn how far to take things, what’s “too far,” and how to manage their emotions. It’s in this playful spirit, this sense of adventure, that fathers contribute to their children’s well being.

That same sense of adventure is what challenges children to succeed, to take that extra step and venture into the unknown. The way we play with our kids encourages independence and pushes them to self-achievement. In fact, a 2001 study by the Department of Education showed that children with involved biological fathers were 43% more likely to get mostly A’s in school! How’s that for a positive impact? Read more here.

It seems like each time we turn on the television or go online, there is a new parenting study telling us that one thing is better than the other or that something we are doing is most likely going to have some sort of impact on someone or something. So are we supposed to live our lives and and or keep adjusting them each time a new study is released? The majority of these studies are coming from reputable sources, but where do you draw the line with too much advice? Generations before us raised kids and although they most likely had similar studies catered to their time era, the vast majority of adults turned out just fine, whether studies were followed or not. So it’s truly up to every parent. You can either listen to every study and live in a world of constant conformity that will most likely be high stress since parenting studies often contradict themselves, or you can pick and choose from all the advice and just raise your child the way in which you feel is best. There’s a humorous blog that dives into the issue of parenting studies a bit further. Below is a preview.

Back when I was a kid, there were no studies deploring the “questionable” parenting tactics of mothers (and to a lesser extent, fathers) who found a variety of uneducational ways to occupy their kids for short periods of time so they could get things done.  But today, it seems, no parenting decision is safe from the watchful eye of the parent police.  And now, a recent study by couponcodes4you.com (which, by the way, is a money saving website, not a parenting authority) concludes disapprovingly that many of us are using tablets and smart phones to keep our kids entertained and occupied.

Read the entire blog here.

Regardless if you are a stay at home parent or working, most moms or dads need to rely on some form of help when raising kids. It could be a day care center, or a mother/grandparent, or friends to babysit while you go to dinner or evening business meeting. It’s important to keep the relationships with these additional helpers in good standing. Parents need to make sure that everyone is on the same page when it comes to certain areas such as discipline or rules. Caregivers need to respect your parenting styles, but remember that it might not be easy for them to do so all the time, especially if they are accustomed to their way. Gabriella Johr, a mom and licensed clinical psychologist has been posting weekly video tips on Go Ask Mom on how to keep the relationships with your “village” going strong. Click the link below to watch the tip from this week.

Click here to watch the video.

An ideal situation for a parenting partnership is to have both parents within a close distance, but that may not be realistic for some. Work, life or unexpected occurrences can lead one parent to have to move and be distant from the other. In a world of unlimited technology, keeping connected shouldn’t be the most difficult part of the distance, instead the emotional impact and connection could possibly be. The New York Times has some suggestions on how to keep connected with your child if you are a distance away. We think these are great, and wanted to share them with you. Don’t let distance create a disconnect in the relationship with your child.

Keeping connected via The New York Times

Text messaging, instant messaging, Facebook, and email – Text messages, facebook, instant messaging and email are excellent ways to stay in touch every day.  Kids chat with their parent through cellular phones or computer keyboard.  This can help children feel an instant connection with the long-distance parent.  A computer is not necessary with portable email devices.

Mail- Children love to get their own mail! Writing frequently is more important than writing long letters.  Children can hold letters and re-read them, keeping memories and the feeling of being loved.

Telephone – Call to chat, to read a story, to say “I love you.” Keep conversations focused on the kids to keep them out of the middle of parental comments.  Readily available phones increase secure feelings of love and connection.

Movies – Send a ticket for a movie.  Both of you go to see it and talk about it on the phone.

Books/Magazines – Subscriptions can help a child practice reading.  The parent may have the same magazine and they can have a discussion about the articles.

Gifts – Gift certificates or small tokens can be used as incentives for grades, behavior, chores, etc., but they should not be used as bribes or one-upmanship trophies against the other parent.

Thinking of You Box – Children love to get things that remind them of time spent together.  Simple items can make lasting memories of being loved.  Pictures, clippings, and ticket stubs all have meaning.

Email/Mail Suggestions

DO: Write about feelings; Share parts of your life; Ask questions; Send Pictures, cartoons, stickers, jokes; Create a secret code and send messages; Send self-addressed stamped envelopes; and Say “I love you and I miss you”

DON’T: Write too much; Write to criticize or question the other parent; Expect letters as frequently form the child as those sent by you; Use sympathy or guilt to manipulate behavior; Say “I’m so sad without you”

When raising a child, it’s very easy to focus on the behaviors. Why are they doing this or acting a certain way? We immediately place blame on the child and usually get upset, whether that’s in front of the child or not. But what if we took the time to look beyond the behavior? What is causing it and how can possibly talking about it help remedy it? Writer Carla Naumburg documented her personal story for the Huffington Post and explains her journey of realization.

My little girl cried; the couch is her preferred spot in our living room. I was conflicted. I felt terrible about how upset my daughter was, but I was at the end of my rope and I felt like I needed to make a point. I needed my daughter to understand that there are consequences to her actions.

She looked at me through her tears and said, “I wish you wouldn’t get angry at me, Mommy.”

It took everything I had not to burst into tears myself, as I knew that would upset my daughter even more. I also knew I had done the wrong thing, but I wasn’t sure how to fix it.

When you think of television parents, who comes to mind? Nowadays, with so many family centric shows on the air, there’s variety in the portrayal of parents on TV. But, backtrack to when most of us where kids, the parents that we watched on TV were not always the best role models or the smartest adults that we were exposed to. Bill Cosby on the other hand, broke from tradition in the 80’s when he created Dr. Cliff Huxtable. At a time of bad parenting on television, Cosby did his best to change the way parents were portrayed. And we all know and remember Dr. Cliff Huxtable, and still to this day refer to him as one of the best parents on television.

“I based the series on two important things: Number one … I hated those series where the children were brighter than the parents, and those parents had to play dumb,” he tells ABC News, via Yahoo News. “Number two was that I wanted to ‘take the house back.'”

Compared to similar TV dads of the time like Homer Simpson and Al Bundy, Huxtable was a breath of fresh air. But beyond just changing up the TV landscape, Cosby felt a strong parent on television set a good example for children at home.

He says that if you want to entertain children “at the expense of parenting, at the expense of keeping children out of harm’s way to get these laughs, to make these parents look stupid, to make kids look like they are ultra-bright but still lost, then we have a problem.” Cosby continues, “I’m not saying that in parenting, you shouldn’t want to be well-liked, but you also have to have some kind of judgment.”

Co-parenting has often been a term used in connection with divorce. Although we refer to what we do as parenting partnerships, the truth is, we can learn a lot from those who are co-parenting as a result of a divorce. A lot of the same principles apply. Anyone considering a parenting partnership should do as much research as possible and you could be surprised where useful tips and information can come from.

R&B singer Monica who has a new web series, “Living the Life,” which is all about her blended family, opened up to ClutchMagOnline.com about her family and explained her 5 steps to building effective co-parenting friendships. Below are her 5 steps that also could potentially apply to two people entering a parenting partnership.

Keep your feelings about each other out of your kids’ hearts and heads.

No matter how angry, betrayed, or bitter you may still feel, if you can’t put a lid on it in front of the kids – failure as co-parents is inevitable. Co-parenting requires maturity, grace and stamina. Find an appropriate outlet for your unresolved feelings. Talking to your ex about the kids simply cannot become your time to vent.

Carrots work better than sticks.

Maintain respect for your ex – this person is your kids’ other parent. Even if the other co-parent’s involvement is minimal, your kids benefit from this contact. Praise for the other parent’s efforts is a strong predictor of co-parenting success.

Keep the lines of communication open.

Communication lies at the heart of any relationship. If your marriage or relationship suffered from a lack of communication, resolve – for the kids’ sake – to find a way to communicate. Technology is a handy solution  – if you prefer not to meet in person or chat on the cell. Find the tools – and the commitment – by which respectful communication takes place.

Allow for change and scary feelings.

Your agreement to co-parent represents yet another change – on top of the huge change everyone experienced when you divorced or separated. It’s okay to feel scared because it signals that you recognize your kids’ futures are at stake. Co-parenting is a formidable challenge – and – realistically – why would you not feel just a bit scared?

Talk and listen to your kids.

Your kids will want to know the nuts and bolts of the new parenting arrangement. Little kids, for example, will want to know where Santa Claus will visit. Or how the Tooth Fairy will find them. Older kids will want to know if friends can visit at both homes – and if they’ll need to change schools. Don’t expect every last detail to get ironed out immediately. Encourage your kids to share their concerns and questions with both of you. Family meetings are ideal – if you can swing it – so everyone gets the opportunity to be heard.

The title of this post says it all. In an interesting article, linked at the bottom, the author explains that noisy kids are happy kids. Makes sense right? Isn’t that what kids are supposed to do, play all day long? Children can find and create unique play experiences from just about anything and everything in their daily lives, and the author suggests allowing them the time do so.

So maybe instead of feeling like kids are disrupting them when they are playing loudly, parents should take a moment to remember what it was like to be a kid and wanting nothing more but to explore, create and imagine while playing loudly.

There was a story about a boy called John. During his first day in school, the teacher asked for his name. He said, “My name is Johnny Don’t”.  The teacher was shocked and wanted to be sure if that was his real name. Johnny then said, “Yes, it’s true. That’s what my mum calls me all the time.”

That might be just a story but it does reflect on the parenting skill of some parents. They try their best to stop the children from playing, doing and exploring by saying, “Don’t do that,” “don’t go there” or “don’t play with that.”

Yes, sometimes children tend to cross the line and enter the danger zone.

However, instead of just saying “don’t,” it is much better for parents to teach their kids about actions and consequences. For example, tell them that by playing near the roadside, they may be hit by speeding cars. Or if they play near a pool of water unsupervised, they may drown. Remind them to stick with playing their toys, not other household items like kitchen utensils, knives or electrical gadgets. Explain to them positively without killing their curiosity.

Read more: SMART PARENTING: Noisy kids are happy kids