How To Stay Connected

An ideal situation for a parenting partnership is to have both parents within a close distance, but that may not be realistic for some. Work, life or unexpected occurrences can lead one parent to have to move and be distant from the other. In a world of unlimited technology, keeping connected shouldn’t be the most difficult part of the distance, instead the emotional impact and connection could possibly be. The New York Times has some suggestions on how to keep connected with your child if you are a distance away. We think these are great, and wanted to share them with you. Don’t let distance create a disconnect in the relationship with your child.

Keeping connected via The New York Times

Text messaging, instant messaging, Facebook, and email – Text messages, facebook, instant messaging and email are excellent ways to stay in touch every day.  Kids chat with their parent through cellular phones or computer keyboard.  This can help children feel an instant connection with the long-distance parent.  A computer is not necessary with portable email devices.

Mail- Children love to get their own mail! Writing frequently is more important than writing long letters.  Children can hold letters and re-read them, keeping memories and the feeling of being loved.

Telephone – Call to chat, to read a story, to say “I love you.” Keep conversations focused on the kids to keep them out of the middle of parental comments.  Readily available phones increase secure feelings of love and connection.

Movies – Send a ticket for a movie.  Both of you go to see it and talk about it on the phone.

Books/Magazines – Subscriptions can help a child practice reading.  The parent may have the same magazine and they can have a discussion about the articles.

Gifts – Gift certificates or small tokens can be used as incentives for grades, behavior, chores, etc., but they should not be used as bribes or one-upmanship trophies against the other parent.

Thinking of You Box – Children love to get things that remind them of time spent together.  Simple items can make lasting memories of being loved.  Pictures, clippings, and ticket stubs all have meaning.

Email/Mail Suggestions

DO: Write about feelings; Share parts of your life; Ask questions; Send Pictures, cartoons, stickers, jokes; Create a secret code and send messages; Send self-addressed stamped envelopes; and Say “I love you and I miss you”

DON’T: Write too much; Write to criticize or question the other parent; Expect letters as frequently form the child as those sent by you; Use sympathy or guilt to manipulate behavior; Say “I’m so sad without you”