We came across an article all about the importance of how a male figure interacts and plays with children, courtesy of a Disney owned site, Babble.com. The article is tailored towards father’s but since every family is different, we wanted to just put this out there for anyone to read and appreciate. Disney normally wouldn’t be the first place we would turn to for parenting tips or advice, but since there was a referenced study from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, we gave it a second read and found some fun points. When we post these “tips” or articles about parenting, our hope is not to convince you, teach you or tell you that this is the only way, but instead we hope to inform you, and hopefully inspire you in some way, shape or form. Most people reading our blogs are not parents yet, so these articles are truly meant to help paint a longterm perspective of what parenthood is all about. Read more about how male role figures interact differently with children below.

As fathers, we are built with unique gifts to offer our kids and, believe it or not, how we play with our children is one of them. Studies have shown that fathers play with their kids in ways different than their mothers, and the way fathers play can offer children lessons on behavior and important social skills. Rough-housing with the kids, a dad specialty, is not only good for giggles and laughs, but it gives kids an understanding of boundaries and self-control. They learn how far to take things, what’s “too far,” and how to manage their emotions. It’s in this playful spirit, this sense of adventure, that fathers contribute to their children’s well being.

That same sense of adventure is what challenges children to succeed, to take that extra step and venture into the unknown. The way we play with our kids encourages independence and pushes them to self-achievement. In fact, a 2001 study by the Department of Education showed that children with involved biological fathers were 43% more likely to get mostly A’s in school! How’s that for a positive impact? Read more here.

Not everyone can be a stay at home parent. For most, it’s just not financially feasible. And others, just don’t want to do it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly normal to work full time and still manage to raise a baby, regardless of what a certain small population of people might tell you. But don’t let them make you fee bad for a decision that you decide to make when raising your family, or considering how to raise your family.

That being said, if you do decide that you can’t be at home full time, it’s possible you might feel like you are missing out. It’s normal, and these feelings or anxieties are shared among other working parents. Below are some tips geared towards working moms, but can be applied to working parents, as nowadays, we all know that families come in many different forms. (sheknows.com)

Remember that quality matters

You might not have as many hours in the day with your kids as other moms do, but that doesn’t mean you can’t connect with your children in a positive, meaningful way. Remember that it’s quality (not quantity) that counts.

• Unplug. Seriously — turn off your phone, step away from your computer and enjoy your evenings with your kids. Giving your child your full attention is very important for bonding.
• Hug. Every child, no matter how old, needs a mama’s touch. Whether you have toddlers, teens or kids in between, spend some time every day getting close.
• Listen. Let your kids do the talking when you are with them. Whether your teen is venting about a teacher at school or your preschooler is telling you about dragons and dinosaurs, take the time to listen.

It seems like each time we turn on the television or go online, there is a new parenting study telling us that one thing is better than the other or that something we are doing is most likely going to have some sort of impact on someone or something. So are we supposed to live our lives and and or keep adjusting them each time a new study is released? The majority of these studies are coming from reputable sources, but where do you draw the line with too much advice? Generations before us raised kids and although they most likely had similar studies catered to their time era, the vast majority of adults turned out just fine, whether studies were followed or not. So it’s truly up to every parent. You can either listen to every study and live in a world of constant conformity that will most likely be high stress since parenting studies often contradict themselves, or you can pick and choose from all the advice and just raise your child the way in which you feel is best. There’s a humorous blog that dives into the issue of parenting studies a bit further. Below is a preview.

Back when I was a kid, there were no studies deploring the “questionable” parenting tactics of mothers (and to a lesser extent, fathers) who found a variety of uneducational ways to occupy their kids for short periods of time so they could get things done.  But today, it seems, no parenting decision is safe from the watchful eye of the parent police.  And now, a recent study by couponcodes4you.com (which, by the way, is a money saving website, not a parenting authority) concludes disapprovingly that many of us are using tablets and smart phones to keep our kids entertained and occupied.

Read the entire blog here.

This may come off as a no-brainer to some, but researchers at Duke Medicine have taken this general statement and focused entirely on children’s health, as well as dietary and physical behaviors. According to the study, parents who encourage their children to exercise and eat well, and model those healthy behaviors themselves  are more likely to be active and healthy eaters. Note the key point of the parents modeling that behavior. It’s easy to preach health but it’s important to lead by example.

The study was focused on mothers and obesity. From The Times of India:

In this study, lead author Truls Ostbye and his colleagues examined the relationship between the home environment and behaviors related to obesity -dietary and exercise habits – among preschoolers.

The researchers studied data from 190 kids, ages two to five, whose mothers were overweight or obese.

They collected information on the children’s food intake over the past week, with foods rated as junk food or healthy food. To gauge their levels of physical activity, the children wore accelerometers for a week, which measured moderate to vigorous physical activity as well as sedentary time.

The mothers reported information about their children’s environments, including family policies around food and physical activity, accessibility of healthy versus junk foods, availability of physical activity equipment, and whether they model healthy eating or exercise for their kids.

The researchers found significant associations between these environmental measures and the preschoolers” physical activity and healthy versus junk food intake.

They concluded that to promote healthy behaviors in children, a healthy home environment and parental role modeling are important.

Their study was published online in the International Journal of Obesity on June 18, 2013.

Co-parenting has often been a term used in connection with divorce. Although we refer to what we do as parenting partnerships, the truth is, we can learn a lot from those who are co-parenting as a result of a divorce. A lot of the same principles apply. Anyone considering a parenting partnership should do as much research as possible and you could be surprised where useful tips and information can come from.

R&B singer Monica who has a new web series, “Living the Life,” which is all about her blended family, opened up to ClutchMagOnline.com about her family and explained her 5 steps to building effective co-parenting friendships. Below are her 5 steps that also could potentially apply to two people entering a parenting partnership.

Keep your feelings about each other out of your kids’ hearts and heads.

No matter how angry, betrayed, or bitter you may still feel, if you can’t put a lid on it in front of the kids – failure as co-parents is inevitable. Co-parenting requires maturity, grace and stamina. Find an appropriate outlet for your unresolved feelings. Talking to your ex about the kids simply cannot become your time to vent.

Carrots work better than sticks.

Maintain respect for your ex – this person is your kids’ other parent. Even if the other co-parent’s involvement is minimal, your kids benefit from this contact. Praise for the other parent’s efforts is a strong predictor of co-parenting success.

Keep the lines of communication open.

Communication lies at the heart of any relationship. If your marriage or relationship suffered from a lack of communication, resolve – for the kids’ sake – to find a way to communicate. Technology is a handy solution  – if you prefer not to meet in person or chat on the cell. Find the tools – and the commitment – by which respectful communication takes place.

Allow for change and scary feelings.

Your agreement to co-parent represents yet another change – on top of the huge change everyone experienced when you divorced or separated. It’s okay to feel scared because it signals that you recognize your kids’ futures are at stake. Co-parenting is a formidable challenge – and – realistically – why would you not feel just a bit scared?

Talk and listen to your kids.

Your kids will want to know the nuts and bolts of the new parenting arrangement. Little kids, for example, will want to know where Santa Claus will visit. Or how the Tooth Fairy will find them. Older kids will want to know if friends can visit at both homes – and if they’ll need to change schools. Don’t expect every last detail to get ironed out immediately. Encourage your kids to share their concerns and questions with both of you. Family meetings are ideal – if you can swing it – so everyone gets the opportunity to be heard.

A national study from the Center on Media and Human Development Northwestern University sheds light on the ways digital technologies have changed parenting practices in the United States. With so many new gadgets, some parents are using mobile phones and tablets in different ways. Sometimes, mobile devices are used for learning, to calm a child down or even as a reward. The days of playing music and dancing around the room, or using educational learning toys are long gone. Or are they?

The new study looks at the ways digital technologies have changed parenting practices. What part do interactive and mobile technologies play in 21st century parenting?

Alexis R. Lauricella, one of the study’s authors, wrote in a Joan Ganz Cooney Center blog post,:

In contrast to thepopular pressimage that mobile technology is the new pacifier used to calm and quiet down children, our survey shows that parents today have a range of tools at their disposal and other tools are used more often than mobile technologies.  Parents are more likely to use toys or activities (88%), books (79%), and TV (78%) when they need to keep children occupied than mobile media devices like smartphones or iPads (37% among those who have one).

A few other interesting findings:

• Sibling rivalry and parental bouts: 78% of parents “disagree with the statement ‘negotiating media use causes conflict in our home.’” And most spouses (83%) agree with each other around questions of parenting with media.
• The income gap:  65% of high-income households ($100,000+ per year) own tablets, only 19% of low-income (less than $25,000). Smartphones: 80% (high-income), 61% (low-income).
• There’s still a video game stigma: “more parents rate video games as having a negative effect on children’s reading, math, speaking skills, attention span, creativity, social skills, behavior, physical activity, and sleep than any other activity.”
• Weaning from the new coviewing: joint media engagement among parents and their children decreases substantially above the age of six.
• Like parent, like child: the amount of media consumed by the parents is directly correlative to the amount media consumed by the children. 23% of “media-centric parents,” (who spend 11 hours per day, on average, engaged with TV, computer, smartphones, and video games) use media as a way to connect with their children.

What methods do you use or plan to use with your children? Do you think the use of digital technologies within parenting is going to continue to evolve?

Adapted from Forbes.com

Have you ever thought about how you will explain to your child about your parenting partnership? Or maybe you’re already in a partnership agreement and your child is starting to ask questions. We have put together a list of tips on how to explain the situation to your child. While kids who are 2 to 3 years old aren’t likely to be aware that his/her family is any different from others, once they begin to interact with other children, they will soon realize there is a difference.

Rather than thinking of this as an awkward conversation, a little advance planning can turn the opportunity to address these questions with your child into a positive bonding experience – as long as you answer these questions with honesty, authenticity, and patience.  Here are a few tips from our site as to how to approach the conversation, what you might wish to say, and when / how to say it.

(1) Honesty is the best policy.  No matter what information you choose to share with your child at this early age, provide an honest and straightforward answer.

(2) Think about what you want to say before you say it.  Each parenting partnership has its own “backstory”. While honesty is important, you should think in advance how you want to present your family’s story to your child, keeping in mind that, as your child gets older, you will continue to build on this story as your child may ask for more details. For example, if an egg donor was used, what do you want your child to know about the egg donor?

(3) Keep answers consistent between parenting partners. Just as you should consider how you want to present information to your young child, you should communicate these thoughts with your parenting partner – before your child starts asking family questions – to make sure you are both on the same page with the information you want to share. It would be confusing to a child to hear different stories from his or her co-parents.

To read the full list of tips, click here to visit the full post in our “LEARN” section of our website.

Have you heard about ‘helicopter parents’? The term used to describe overbearing or extremely controlling parents seems to be the subject of many online discussions on whether being a helicopter parent is truly a good thing, or if it can leave children, teenagers and young adults feeling lost without their parents. But how do we determine if over-parenting can be beneficial? Researchers, educators and many others have all offered their opinions. Below is an excerpt from an NBC news piece that explores the possible negative outcomes of helicopter parenting.

So what type of parent will you be? One that is constantly involved in every part of your child’s life, or one that will allow your child to have some personal space and learn to not be so reliant on you. Is one better than the other?

 There was a push, especially among educated working professionals, to provide youngsters with every opportunity to succeed, from homework tutors and lacrosse camps at age 8 to college application essay assistance at age 18, the experts say. Parents became fierce advocates for their children, intervening with teachers, coaches — even employers.

The problem with all that help, says Segrin, is that when it’s overdone, it keeps children from developing their own age-appropriate strengths and skills.

“When we do not give the child the freedom to try on his or her own and maybe fail on his own, he doesn’t develop the competency that children who fail learn,” he says.

Segrin’s latest papers relied on interviews with more than 1,000 college-age students and their parents from across the nation. They found that many of the young adult kids are in touch with their parents constantly, with nearly a quarter communicating by text, phone or other means several times every day and another 22 percent reaching out once a day.

“There’s this endless contact with parents,” says Segrin, who doesn’t have children. “I don’t think it’s just calling to socialize. A lot of it is, ‘How do I?’ ‘Will you?’ ‘Can you?’ They are still quite reliant on their parents.”

The studies showed that parents who felt more anxiety about their children and more regret about their own missed goals led to greater overparenting. At the same time, they found that kids who were overparented were more likely be anxious and narcissistic and to lack coping skills.  NBC News.

Have you been keeping up with all the hype about types of parents? There are so many names for the types of parents out there and most are so outlandish that they don’t even make much sense. Do you think being a certain kind of parent really makes a difference and would  you modify your parenting techniques after learning about a different style of parenting? The excerpt from an article below explores the “types” of parents and the importance of having your own personal parenting type. The link to the full article follows the excerpt.

Are you a tiger mother? How about a French maman? Non? Perhaps you fancy yourself an attachment parent or subscribe to the free range philosophy. It seems no matter how you choose to raise your children, there’s a name for it.

Truth is, most days I “parent” based on my family’s needs and what the day throws my way. If I want the kids out of the house, then I’m free range, insofar as they stay in the backyard. When there’s wine with dinner again, perhaps it’s because I’m feeling tres Francais. And to the kid giving my autistic son a hard time, let me “snow plow” the problem away. I wear different parenting hats based on the situation because I find parenting is rarely black and white.

This idea that you can be a certain “type” of parent is new. When my mom was raising me and my sister in the 1970s I don’t think she gave much thought to how she interacted with us. She was a stay at home mom, busy doing chores and preparing dinner while we entertained ourselves. Dr. Spock (the parenting guru, not the dude from Star Trek) pretty much had a corner on the mommy advice market back then and his message was: “You know more than you think you do.” Mom must have taken this to heart because, unlike my generation, she didn’t agonize over every parenting decision. So when did everything change? Why the push to categorize how parents diaper or discipline their kids?

Read more: http://www.calgaryherald.com/life/What+kind+parent/8334777/story.html#ixzz2TOlBnzu9

A recent Denver Post article suggests that parenting in moderation may have the best outcome for your child. According to the article, having little to no interaction with your child can have a negative impact, but we all already knew this. What is fascinating is that the article suggests spending too much time or investing too much of your energy on your child can also have a negative impact. Apparently, finding the right balance of interaction and time spent has the best results. A parent shouldn’t revolve their lives 100% around their child, the article states. This news could come as a welcomed relief to some parents who think it’s absolutely necessary to be involved in every single thing their child does. So what do you think? How much is too much with regards to parenting, and do you really think it makes a difference?

An excerpt from the article follows:

People often think that when something is good, then more of that thing is inherently better. However, many things in life healthy in small to moderate amounts become harmful in excess. Eating is necessary for survival, but overeating is currently leading to a national public health epidemic. The body also requires adequate rest, but too much rest becomes laziness. Even exercise, in excess, can lead to physical injury. We would like to argue that the same is true about parenting. It is possible to have too much of a good thing.

Research has clearly established that it is beneficial for children when their parents are involved in their education and activities. Many studies have pointed to the benefits of parents talking to, reading to, playing with, and providing their children with activities that help them develop and learn. In fact, early intervention specialists teach these very behaviors to parents of at-risk children because children with more involved parents tend to perform better academically, have more friends, and exhibit fewer behavior problems.

However, it is important to note that the benefits of parental involvement are found when researchers compare parents who are generally uninvolved with those who already play an active role in their children’s lives. When going from low involvement to moderate involvement, the benefits are numerous.

Read more:Parenting: Best done in moderation – The Denver Posthttp://www.denverpost.com/opinion/ci_23207971/parenting-best-done-moderation#ixzz2TIoZOTyT