Helicopter Parenting…good or bad?

Have you heard about ‘helicopter parents’? The term used to describe overbearing or extremely controlling parents seems to be the subject of many online discussions on whether being a helicopter parent is truly a good thing, or if it can leave children, teenagers and young adults feeling lost without their parents. But how do we determine if over-parenting can be beneficial? Researchers, educators and many others have all offered their opinions. Below is an excerpt from an NBC news piece that explores the possible negative outcomes of helicopter parenting.

So what type of parent will you be? One that is constantly involved in every part of your child’s life, or one that will allow your child to have some personal space and learn to not be so reliant on you. Is one better than the other?

 

 There was a push, especially among educated working professionals, to provide youngsters with every opportunity to succeed, from homework tutors and lacrosse camps at age 8 to college application essay assistance at age 18, the experts say. Parents became fierce advocates for their children, intervening with teachers, coaches — even employers.

The problem with all that help, says Segrin, is that when it’s overdone, it keeps children from developing their own age-appropriate strengths and skills.

“When we do not give the child the freedom to try on his or her own and maybe fail on his own, he doesn’t develop the competency that children who fail learn,” he says.

Segrin’s latest papers relied on interviews with more than 1,000 college-age students and their parents from across the nation. They found that many of the young adult kids are in touch with their parents constantly, with nearly a quarter communicating by text, phone or other means several times every day and another 22 percent reaching out once a day.

“There’s this endless contact with parents,” says Segrin, who doesn’t have children. “I don’t think it’s just calling to socialize. A lot of it is, ‘How do I?’ ‘Will you?’ ‘Can you?’ They are still quite reliant on their parents.”

The studies showed that parents who felt more anxiety about their children and more regret about their own missed goals led to greater overparenting. At the same time, they found that kids who were overparented were more likely be anxious and narcissistic and to lack coping skills.  NBC News.

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