We came across an interesting op-ed recently that discussed the differences that children today and their parents have with regards to growing up. There was a time when most of us could go outside and well, play. Sure, we did stupid things, but we survived and learned, and moved on. Before a time of digital leashes, and overly protective parenting, kids were just left to be kids. Sure, the world’s changed a bit since we were all kids, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that children should be deprived the opportunity to be a bit more independent. At least that’s the opinion of the author. Read below.

Let’s face it: Playing outside all day without structure and protection just poses too many risks to the perfect developmental needs of today’s fragile, Bubble-Wrapped Kids.

Fortunately, like the person who created that streetlight meme, I am one of those kids who grew up in the ’70s and ’80s. We were what you might call “free range” kids. It was the best of times, and it was the suckiest of times. Not only were we free to just be kids, we also had a ton more responsibility… and accountability. Many of us were babysitting other people’s kids by 12 years old and holding down paper routes by 13. We weren’t harmed or traumatized by our freedom or responsibility… we were enriched by it.

Kids today don’t have the level of independence we had back then and they don’t have even a fraction of the responsibility either. But it’s not entirely their fault. If today’s parents really want to be able to get back some of those good ole days that we enjoyed and which made us the great people we are today, they need to realize that kids cannot breathe, grow and thrive in a protective, layered world where nothing ever goes wrong and no one ever gets hurt. If they could even fathom following a few of the hands-off parenting methods that our parents and grandparents used with us, they may find their kids might actually take the opportunity to cut off the bubble wrap, get off the iPads and go play outside all day long… or at least until we text them for dinner.

To read the full piece on Huffington Post, click here.

Two friends in New York who have known each other for over a decade have been attempting to become parents together. The friends are not in a romantic relationship, nor do they live together. Their ideal situation was to be in a committed parenting partnership. After attempts at pregnancy, the friends were unsuccessful in getting pregnant, and decided to adopt. After a long process of waiting, one of them was granted a child from Ethiopia. Since the friends were not a couple or living together, only one parent was able to legally adopt the child. This is where it gets interesting.

When they returned to the U.S., the pair petitioned Manhattan Surrogate’s Court to have LEL named as a second legal parent, even though they don’t live together and are not romantically involved.

In a landmark ruling, Judge Rita Mella did so. (For the privacy of all involved, names were shortened or changed)

“From the moment they met G,, more than two years ago now, KAL and LEL have functioned as her parents,” the judge wrote in a decision from last month.

“G. calls KAL ‘Mommy’ and LEL ‘Daddy,’” and “although they live in separate households,” they “have created a nurturing family environment for G., including a well-thought-out, discussed and fluid method of sharing parenting responsibilities between their homes.”

Mella agreed, and used a 2010 state statute allowing “intimate partners” to adopt as a basis for allowing the couple’s the adoption to proceed, noting that the phrase can mean a close, long-term relationship.

She also cited the findings of the social worker who observed the family in action, and determined that “even though their relationship is not based on what many consider a traditional family, they exhibit a love and respect for one another and clearly cherish the family they have created.”

A huge fear for parents is sending their kids off to school. They can’t be there to protect them from other kids or situations that may hurt them. With bullying being so talked about on the news and media, which it should be, parents are now fearing that their child may be the victim of bullying at school. But what if your child is the bully? That thought is just as scary to parents, or even more so because the damaging effects bullying can have on a child can last a lifetime. So how do you prevent your child from becoming a bully?

In her book Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear, author Carrie Goldman draws from the work of several scholars and shares information on parenting practices that can help prevent bullying – as well as those that can actually foster bullying behaviors. Here are a few examples of risk factors and protective factors that Goldman shares in her book:

Risk Factors – Kids who bully others are more likely to experience:

• Frequent and inconsistent punishment
• Harshness, rejection or neglect from their parents
• Cruelty, maltreatment and domestic violence
• Low parental warmth
• Low family connections and cohesion
• Limited parental involvement in school

Protective Factors – Parents of well-adjusted kids tend to:

• Use effective monitoring
• Communicate warmth, love and a sense of belonging
• Get actively involved in their child’s school activities
• Set appropriate, consistent boundaries
• Have expectations for their children
• Communicate regularly with their children’s teachers

Imagine starting a family using a sperm donor from a reputable sperm bank. You took the time to flip through athletics, eye color, bone structure and education of donors. Now imagine getting a phone call after the child was born and being asked to go and check if your baby is still alive. It sounds completely absurd and unreal, but it happened to Anne Morriss. Only afterward would the man, phoning with results from the state’s newborn screening test, explain that her son had tested positive for a rare and potentially fatal genetic disorder that prevented him from converting certain fats into energy.

Now Morriss has cofounded a company aimed at reducing the odds of having an unhealthy child when using a sperm donor. Named GenePeeks, it will test a woman’s DNA and the genes of potential donors to produce a personalized list that strikes out donors who may be a bad match for about 600 genetic childhood diseases. The test, costing about $2,000, will be offered starting in December to customers of a New York sperm bank.

Although virtually every person probably harbors at least one flawed copy of a gene that could cause a disease, such illnesses are recessive traits, meaning they will not develop unless a child inherits two flawed copies of a gene, one from each parent. That means risk factors can lurk in perfectly healthy people’s DNA for generations — until someone happens to pick a reproductive partner with the same mutation. Even then, they would have only a one-in-four chance of having an affected child.

Technology is already being used in an attempt to lower those odds even more. Prospective parents can be tested to see if they or their partners — or sperm donors — carry risk factors for specific panels of diseases, often chosen based on their ethnicity. Sperm banks often test for the most common genetic diseases.

A mutual friend introduced Morriss, a former consultant, to Lee Silver, a Princeton University biologist who had thought up a novel way to give prospective parents better guidance about potential offspring. Together they founded GenePeeks. Silver’s technique uses computer modeling to mimic what happens when people reproduce: Half of a woman’s DNA combines with half of her partner’s. Silver argues that by looking not just at the genes the parents carry, but at the possible combinations, it will be possible to identify pairings that are likely to result in illness.

The company is starting with a conservative approach; it will simply expand on the kind of screening that is already done, looking more exhaustively for recessive genetic diseases. Morriss and Silver hope to eventually test the risk for more complex diseases, depending on the state of scientific understanding. The technology skirts some of the most thorny issues that emerge when it comes to DNA analysis and reproductive genetics. Because no one receives any genetic information back, the company will not have to wrestle with reporting disease risks back to the women or sperm donors.

Originally found here.

The actor most famous for his role in “Lost Boys,” has been in the tabloids for months now as he tries to continue to gain parental rights to his son who was born to his ex-girlfriend via artificial insemination. At the time, he had agreed to donate his sperm to her in order for her to conceive. After a long legal battle, he is now trying to change state law to allow sperm donors, in certain situations, to become legal parents and share custody of the children that result from their seed.

Proponents of Senate Bill 115 say it will close a legal loophole that forbids certain sperm donors from being recognized as fathers when an unmarried woman is impregnated with their sperm.

The other side says the proposal could grant parenting rights to sperm donors against the wishes of a child’s legal parents. They say the bill is an attempt by Patric to overturn a court ruling that he lost.

“This bill should never be heard by the Legislature,” said Richard Harris, a lobbyist representing Schreiber and her family.

“You don’t use the Legislature to interfere in a court case just because you’re some Hollywood schmo.”

Read more here.

When considering whether a parenting partnership is right for you, you should really consider the factor that you will be sharing the child-raising process with someone who is a non-romantic partner. In your head, right now, it may sound like a dream – having someone to help out and take part of the responsibility of raising your child. But remember, you don’t know exactly how you will feel once the child comes into your life. You should take some time to think about if you are truly ready and prepared to address any changes in your feelings in the future. It’s also important to take into consideration the feelings of your parenting partner. He or she might also have a change of feelings after the child is born, or comes into your lives. Sharing the responsibility of raising a child, however you and your parenting partner agree to do so, is a lifelong commitment.

Have you read our First 10 Questions to Ask Yourself When Considering a Parenting Partnership? Our Learn section is a good resource for everything you may need or want to know about parenting partnerships, including legal, medical and financial questions.

When raising a child, it’s very easy to focus on the behaviors. Why are they doing this or acting a certain way? We immediately place blame on the child and usually get upset, whether that’s in front of the child or not. But what if we took the time to look beyond the behavior? What is causing it and how can possibly talking about it help remedy it? Writer Carla Naumburg documented her personal story for the Huffington Post and explains her journey of realization.

My little girl cried; the couch is her preferred spot in our living room. I was conflicted. I felt terrible about how upset my daughter was, but I was at the end of my rope and I felt like I needed to make a point. I needed my daughter to understand that there are consequences to her actions.

She looked at me through her tears and said, “I wish you wouldn’t get angry at me, Mommy.”

It took everything I had not to burst into tears myself, as I knew that would upset my daughter even more. I also knew I had done the wrong thing, but I wasn’t sure how to fix it.

The title of this post says it all. In an interesting article, linked at the bottom, the author explains that noisy kids are happy kids. Makes sense right? Isn’t that what kids are supposed to do, play all day long? Children can find and create unique play experiences from just about anything and everything in their daily lives, and the author suggests allowing them the time do so.

So maybe instead of feeling like kids are disrupting them when they are playing loudly, parents should take a moment to remember what it was like to be a kid and wanting nothing more but to explore, create and imagine while playing loudly.

There was a story about a boy called John. During his first day in school, the teacher asked for his name. He said, “My name is Johnny Don’t”.  The teacher was shocked and wanted to be sure if that was his real name. Johnny then said, “Yes, it’s true. That’s what my mum calls me all the time.”

That might be just a story but it does reflect on the parenting skill of some parents. They try their best to stop the children from playing, doing and exploring by saying, “Don’t do that,” “don’t go there” or “don’t play with that.”

Yes, sometimes children tend to cross the line and enter the danger zone.

However, instead of just saying “don’t,” it is much better for parents to teach their kids about actions and consequences. For example, tell them that by playing near the roadside, they may be hit by speeding cars. Or if they play near a pool of water unsupervised, they may drown. Remind them to stick with playing their toys, not other household items like kitchen utensils, knives or electrical gadgets. Explain to them positively without killing their curiosity.

Read more: SMART PARENTING: Noisy kids are happy kids

A new book by Hugh Weber is providing first time dads and dads-to-be with “real life perspective, encouragement and humor” as they embark on their new life. The book focuses on how the “dude” days are officially over and how fatherhood begins. The book, appropriately  titled, Dude to Dad tackles the initial fears and self-doubt that are often experienced by new dads. It provides real life perspective and encouragement with heavy doses of humor. There are many parenting, medical and advice books out there but this title offers something different for the everyday man. It’s really a resource that allows new dads to find the perfect balance between parenthood and their lives.

 

Dude to Dad lays out the secrets to parenting success, including the following instructions:

• Identify your allies
• Be aware of the curveball
• Know your limits
• Be fully present
• Raise a child of possibility

“This book is meant to help usher ordinary dudes into the next chapter of their lives, better able to talk the talk, walk the walk, and be the extraordinary dad they strive to be,” says author Hugh Weber.

Read more about DUDE TO DAD Offers Advice for Parenting – BWWBooksWorld by books.broadwayworld.com