Bird’s Nest Co-Parenting

Co-parenting is usually associated with divorced couples, but as parenting partnerships become more and more mainstream, sometimes ideas from co-parenting arrangements can be modified or applied to folks who have chosen to enter into a parenting partnership. When there is a divorce, the typical arrangement is to have the child or children live in two households. This can cause emotional issues to kids as they were already accustomed to living in one household with their parents. With a parenting partnership, it’s important to note that children are not being split up into two homes, but rather, they are being raised from day 1 in whatever their home scenario is. There is no disruption to what they once had because it’s always been a certain way. That being said, some who enter into parenting partnerships are adopting, so in those cases, there will be a transition period, just like any adoption.

“Bird’s Nest” co-parenting is a new trend that works for some couples who are divorced, and could inspire some ideas for those considering a parenting partnership. The idea behind “bird’s nest” co-parenting is that the children remain in one home while the parents rotate in and out. This would only work if the parents lived nearby each other and didn’t have a problem with sharing two homes between each other, while raising kids in only one of the two. Children would not have to be between two homes, but instead, the parents would take over those challenges. It’s not the easiest idea to wrap your head around, but it could work for some folks and it does sound like a more stable environment for children. More here. 

Bird nesting works best when parents are able to separate their co-parenting responsibilities from their previous marital conflicts, and remain amicable and cooperative as they confer about continuing household arrangements and the children’s needs. Both need to be prepared to maintain a certain level of consistency of purpose, discipline, and child-raising techniques to make it work well; this means being able to communicate clearly and peacefully rather than taking each discussion as an opportunity to argue. Household and house maintenance arrangements, and ground rules, must be absolutely clear, and each parent must closely stick to the agreed-upon arrangements; over time, as they settle into the new lifestyle, more flexible arrangements are possible. A clearly drafted co-parenting plan or negotiated schedule at the outset is essential. Ongoing mutual respect is vital; and although it is reasonable to assume that there will be arguments or disagreements about various aspects of the arrangement, it is critical that children are shielded from ongoing conflict.

Often, this form of co-parenting will end when the youngest child reaches the age of majority, at which time one parent may either buy the other out of their interest in the family home, or it is sold and the proceeds divided pursuant to the matrimonial property regime or separation agreement.