A huge fear for parents is sending their kids off to school. They can’t be there to protect them from other kids or situations that may hurt them. With bullying being so talked about on the news and media, which it should be, parents are now fearing that their child may be the victim of bullying at school. But what if your child is the bully? That thought is just as scary to parents, or even more so because the damaging effects bullying can have on a child can last a lifetime. So how do you prevent your child from becoming a bully?

In her book Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear, author Carrie Goldman draws from the work of several scholars and shares information on parenting practices that can help prevent bullying – as well as those that can actually foster bullying behaviors. Here are a few examples of risk factors and protective factors that Goldman shares in her book:

Risk Factors – Kids who bully others are more likely to experience:

• Frequent and inconsistent punishment
• Harshness, rejection or neglect from their parents
• Cruelty, maltreatment and domestic violence
• Low parental warmth
• Low family connections and cohesion
• Limited parental involvement in school

Protective Factors – Parents of well-adjusted kids tend to:

• Use effective monitoring
• Communicate warmth, love and a sense of belonging
• Get actively involved in their child’s school activities
• Set appropriate, consistent boundaries
• Have expectations for their children
• Communicate regularly with their children’s teachers

The title of this post says it all. In an interesting article, linked at the bottom, the author explains that noisy kids are happy kids. Makes sense right? Isn’t that what kids are supposed to do, play all day long? Children can find and create unique play experiences from just about anything and everything in their daily lives, and the author suggests allowing them the time do so.

So maybe instead of feeling like kids are disrupting them when they are playing loudly, parents should take a moment to remember what it was like to be a kid and wanting nothing more but to explore, create and imagine while playing loudly.

There was a story about a boy called John. During his first day in school, the teacher asked for his name. He said, “My name is Johnny Don’t”.  The teacher was shocked and wanted to be sure if that was his real name. Johnny then said, “Yes, it’s true. That’s what my mum calls me all the time.”

That might be just a story but it does reflect on the parenting skill of some parents. They try their best to stop the children from playing, doing and exploring by saying, “Don’t do that,” “don’t go there” or “don’t play with that.”

Yes, sometimes children tend to cross the line and enter the danger zone.

However, instead of just saying “don’t,” it is much better for parents to teach their kids about actions and consequences. For example, tell them that by playing near the roadside, they may be hit by speeding cars. Or if they play near a pool of water unsupervised, they may drown. Remind them to stick with playing their toys, not other household items like kitchen utensils, knives or electrical gadgets. Explain to them positively without killing their curiosity.

Read more: SMART PARENTING: Noisy kids are happy kids