A Note From A Member

We receive notes from our FamilyByDesign community all the time, and we appreciate hearing your experiences. We wanted to share the following one with everyone.

I have always wanted to have a child. Growing up in a big family, I was constantly surrounded by cousins and second cousins. There was always a baby in the family and I loved spending time with them. The older I got, the more and more I dreamt of the day that I would be parent. Then my early twenties hit and my dreams turned into postponement after postponement. Life took over and at that time in my life, I just wasn’t ready. I saw all my friends starting families, and I was fortunate enough to enjoy spending time with them and their children, but I knew that I just wasn’t ready.

My twenties quickly slipped by me and being consumed with having fun and enjoying life quickly shifted to focusing on my career and financial stability. Living in a big city, I noticed that I wasn’t the only one who was in their thirties and still unmarried and without a family. I have no regrets about taking my time to become the person I am today, and I know that waiting to become a parent was the right decision. But now that my thirties are slipping by me, I felt it was time to make some changes and begin to make having a family a priority.

You might have assumed by reading this that I am a woman in her thirties, but in fact, I am a man in my thirties, eager to become a father. I’m also a man that lives in a new world and recognizes that not every family needs to be what was once considered to be the “traditional” family. I keep a busy life with my work and personal life, and although I will of course make time for a child, I still want my personal time to continue to do what I need to do. That is why I’m pursuing a parenting partnership. Fortunately, with time, I was able to find a partner, who is my age, waited for the same reasons I did, and also wants her personal time.  For us, co-parenting just makes sense. That’s why I appreciate your site so much, because it’s opening up new possibilities to people like her and I. We will soon live in the same city, and shortly after will begin the process of adoption, together. We both realize that this is something new and very different from what the world is use to, but at the same time, we are both committed to raising a child together, but separately.